FantasyPosted: May 14, 2007
After mom died, I buried myself on my books. I was crazy then for Sweet Valley Twins. I was very, very envious of the fictional family there. They stick with each other whatever happens even to their college years. I long for a family. A complete loving family.
I decided I am Elizabeth the goody two shoes one. I love the life of Lizzie but hated her at the same time. Why does she has to be blonde? Kidding aside. I was lonely. I was on the edge of insanity.
Then here comes the tv drama, 7th heaven. I was in love with the TV series. Again, one complete family sticking with each other through thick and thin. I long to have such strong family. Its too bad that they are on their last season now.
But reality bites. My family is nowhere near it. Mom died. Dad become a drunk. Sister took care of herself. I took care of myself. We’re both deaf from the whispers and gossips of my immidiate family. And I have one goal then. To finish school and get the hell out of there. But somehow, along the way my goals changed.
I am now returning to the home I left behind. Running away did a lot me good and I will do it again if event shall be repeated. I dealt with the problem as best as I could. I am grateful actually to my husband’s family and they welcomed me to their home. I felt I found my very own 7th heaven family then.
Now, D and I felt that we need to make our very own 7th heaven family. The kiddies I’m afraid shall have to come later, perhaps after two years time. I’m still terrified. I couldn’t explain it. Perhaps if I babbled alot more I would be able to. *heh*
I want now the fantasy to turn into reality. I am tried of dreaming. And I believe, we have made the forst few steps. Hurray!
I reread my entry again. I said to myself, “Tofubaby, your such a weird, weird chick. But I’m glad you are finally moving on.” I am my worst critic. I beat my mind endlessly. Sometimes, I have to restrain myself for being too hard. After all we are only human. But please don’t make all the mistakes. ok? And stop talking to yourself on the net. People will think you are weird. ^_^