Thoughts of home and mom

I just woken up from a an afternoon nap, that is if you call a one and a half hour sleep a nap. My heart is beating rapidly I don’t know why perhaps because I just eaten 30 mins before I slept. I feel I needed it because I have already finished a couple of chores. By 2:00pm, I already washed our clothes, gave the cat and dog a bathe, went to the jewelry maker and ironed a couple of our clothes. Perhaps my drive to have done this things is that I want to go home and stay there for a while. I have not been home for quite a long time. I miss it. Perhaps all of us once in a while needs to be where you grew up, nevertheless if that place was once filled with sad memories that you want to ran away from. Besides together with the sad memories, there are happy memories. Its just a coincidence that my sad memories have marked me better than my happy ones. This is one of the reason why I when I started my own family, I wanted my children to remember the happy ones until the day I am already not with them. And I will do that. I will create a very homey feeling. I want my husband and my children to feel love in everything I do. I will be there for them everytime even though how hard it may takes. If I can’t be ther physically, I will make sure that they do understand behind for it. I will always make time to have a small talk with my husband and kids. I’m sorry but I couldn’t remember much that my mom did that for me. But I do remember her making time for me to make these crocheted doll clothes that we can’t afford to buy the original then. I also remember her asking me what clothes do I like to wear. She never forced me to wear something I don’t like. She also asks my opinion regarding the colors for her clothes. She encouraged me to do my art thing and inspired me by telling me that my grandfather (her father that none of us grandchildren met) used to draw. That really started me to take my art seriously.

Its funny, when I think of our house, it’ll always include my mom. I miss her. I don’t want to talk about anymore about what happened after she passed away. I now want to talk about how she were before.

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