They say the word “I” is the most dangerous word in human vocabulary (that includes its equivalent in different languages). You hurt people when you use that word too often and I did.

Just a couple of minutes ago, D revealed to me that he is hurt that I so loosely used the word “I”. I was bragging to my dad that how beautiful “MY” house is. In my getting used to being alone. doing things alone, almost being alone, I have forgotten that I am already a wife. It should be “WE” and not “I” anymore. I am ashamed that it hurts. I felt like I failed or something. Apparently my best wasn’t good enough. And it hurts too. There’s a little voice in my head that echos of my ignorance and stupidity.

What I did was very unwifely. I don’t know how to ammend it. But as my husband said, he don’t need my apology.What he needs is change. We have the same philosophy that’s why I understand him perfectly.

Is there a school for wives? A book perhaps? But I guess, its just common sense. Sadly, this common sense failed me. I wish the land would eat me up.

 :(

Our phone rings with the minimum of 10 rings a day. If it only rang for only 10 times, mostly because its an internal call. Actually I don’t mind our “allottees” call the office but sometimes they have this urge to call us and ask stupid questions that we could really do without. I am not sure if that is because they are not just informed or really just plain irritant.

I am getting sick and tired of telling them that the regular remittance is end of month. They should check the bank first at the 30th of the month and call us immediately if they don’t find any money.  The special remittance takes about one to three days to process and be deposited to their bank accounts from the day we receive the request on our emails. And any others take the same length of time to be remitted. Simple as that. But some people just don’t know how to listen and a complete nusiance. I pity them. They are not enjoying the benefits of what we call creative listening and selective listening.

Creative listening is listening with not what you want to hear but really just plain understanding the person’s point of view. Actually, we think this is easy. But actually not so. Most of the time we are assuming based on our own experience and not on the other person’s account.

Here’s an example. I happen to like eating very much. I appreciate good food and I know when I taste one. So when somebody asks me if I love eating, I would say I do. But some people would assume that just because I love food means that I love cooking as well, as the two is almost synonymous. Actually, I am not so crazy about cooking. If somebody would gladly take over the kitchen, I would happily give him the throne as I know, cooking is not my forte.  Anyway, I would write about it more  sometime.

Back to telephonophobia.

As  I was saying, I hate telephones due to my work. And I confirmed it just the other day. I am on my way home but I stopped by at the hardware as we need a fuse and stuff when my cellphone rings.

I answered. I said, “HELLO, ACCOUNTING!”

My husband who’s calling me laughed at me hysterically.  I aready answering my personal phone and I automatically replied “Hello Accounting”. I am now allergic to phones.

I opened my eyes.

Its only 4 AM.

. . . .

I want more sleep! But my head tells me I should get up and prepare something or else I would be late for office… again!

The kitchen. Sometimes, no matter how spic and spac the homemaker is, creepy crawlers find its way to your domain.

In the kitchen sink, I saw a baby cockroach. No actually, its already in its pre-teens, not a baby anymore.

I took pity. Instead of squashing him right on the spot, I just ignored. Pretended he’s not there.

So in the kitchen sink, I washed my hands, cleaned the dishes (don’t worry, my wares are not touching the critter) and filled the stainless steel sink with water with him almost drowing ( I could sense it’s a he).

But still, the cockroach doesn’t move. At one time, I even thought that he went down the drainage. I was already ready for my goodbye. But I was suprised when Henry (I heard a voice telling me that his name is Henry) emerged from the black hole just in timing with the water is totally drained.

I was expecting Henry to finally climbed out of the sink. He has the courage to overcome all those water, he must have courage to fully save himself!

But sadly, the critter is just contented to be in the sink. There’s no sign that he’s making an effort on climbing the walls (when you are a critter, the sides of the sinks are walls).

Then I realized that some people are like Henry. They are strong. No problems are too big for them. They could withstand any hurricanes and storms. They are admirable for that. The problem, they just don’t realize it that they have the capacity to change their lives. They have the power to climb out of the situation they are in. Still they remain the same.

xoxoxox

I have forgotten again its Thursday Thirteen yesterday.  Next Thursday I have three list to make up for it. For now, have a happy weekend. I’m not sure if I’ll be able to go online until Monday. We’ll be doing some pretty heavy repairs on the house and I am the sidekick of the repairman, my husband. Until then.

Tofubaby