Un-wifely Step
They say the word “I” is the most dangerous word in human vocabulary (that includes its equivalent in different languages). You hurt people when you use that word too often and I did.
Just a couple of minutes ago, D revealed to me that he is hurt that I so loosely used the word “I”. I was bragging to my dad that how beautiful “MY” house is. In my getting used to being alone. doing things alone, almost being alone, I have forgotten that I am already a wife. It should be “WE” and not “I” anymore. I am ashamed that it hurts. I felt like I failed or something. Apparently my best wasn’t good enough. And it hurts too. There’s a little voice in my head that echos of my ignorance and stupidity.
What I did was very unwifely. I don’t know how to ammend it. But as my husband said, he don’t need my apology.What he needs is change. We have the same philosophy that’s why I understand him perfectly.
Is there a school for wives? A book perhaps? But I guess, its just common sense. Sadly, this common sense failed me. I wish the land would eat me up.
:(
SexyMom replied:
let me share with you a poem i wrote when i was very young, which i found true in my early married life:
i love to say, “a im”
over and over again
because i love myself
don’t i?
i know only myself
what i am and can do
i know only mine
what i have and can use
i give to myself what i like
and keep for myself
what i don’t
cause who knows–
i might even use them somday?
now i don’t feel good
why?
i don’t even have the nerve
to say “i am” once more
poor me,
i have forgotten–
you!
don’t fret anymore. it’s done, what you need now, as you acknowledged, is change. there is no single book in making the marriage work, each marriage is unique. and you know your marriage more than anybody else. good luck.
Tofubaby: Thanks, sexy mom. I am really grateful that my husband is really kind. His best trait is that he’s so understanding. I am grateful also that he now tells me what he was really thinking even he knows that I won’t like what I would be hearing.
Thanks for sharing the poem. It’s a good one.
June 11, 2007 at 3:16 pm. Permalink.
chase replied:
I understand that feeling. Since I grew up alone so I am also used with the word “i” It just takes practice to eventually break that habit.
Tofubaby: I certainly hope so. Thanks, chase.
June 11, 2007 at 7:39 pm. Permalink.
bearhug replied:
Hayyyyyy…
“I” felt a little sadness after reading that post.
It is only because “I” also uses that word”I” to often,
“I” happened to read it before “I” take the time to wriet my post, and “I” found it harder to avoid.
Whoooooooooooooo…..too many “I”s..
This person tried to avoid it in my post as much as he can.
Hoping that the sentences and grammars didn’t get obscure after trying to replace that most dangerous word -as what you considered it- with some other words.
Hoping that this person here will learn how to avoid it, believing waht Chase’ said, it will just takes some practice.
But you know what, Bearhug believe that you guyz(tofu and Denz) will always get through with any situation like this one, and that’s what Bearhug is very certain about, he knows how well you communicate with each other with different concerns, from the color of tiles to use, with the color of the paints, designs,,,,, YOU are one of the few couples I admire so much!
God Bless the both of You!
Until this coming Sunday!
Tofubaby: Yup, yup. See you on Sunday, dear. ^_^ Bring food. Hehehe
June 13, 2007 at 4:07 am. Permalink.
islander replied:
Passed by and I don’t know whether I should be happy or sad that I still am licensed to use “I” for most of the time. Sigh..
Tofubaby: Don’t worry, Islander. The one will come and you’ll live happily ever after. Tell you what, maybe the one is just right under your nose. Mine was.
June 13, 2007 at 1:21 pm. Permalink.
chokkklitsoul replied:
Dont beat yourself up to much girl! It was a mistake, you see it, and it can be hard to break that habit….from what I have read of you, you would never intentionally hurt your husband so I guess I just dont see the friggin deal…I am not at all trying to make it worse..but all I can say is you see it, you will change it!!! the end!!!!
*maybe I should just keep my big mouth shut…lol…cause it aint about me*…..or “I” but about you and the hubs… smile!
June 13, 2007 at 10:50 pm. Permalink.
toni replied:
It’s a learning experience. There’s no school for us wives, but experience is the best teacher naman. It was a mistake and you didn’t mean to be selfish by saying “I.” The next thing to do is to watch out for that evil “I.”
Tofubaby: Now I am more aware of the evil “I”. I am really glad that D is vocal about his feelings. It hurts but at least I can straight the bent problem.
June 18, 2007 at 9:10 am. Permalink.